Thursday, May 17, 2012

FAQs: Fortunes, Tarot, Astrology, and Horoscopes

Here is a list of short questions and my short answers to them. Seeing as none of them are very long and each of them is related, I'll put them all here in one post.

Can I have a free tarot reading?

No, you can not. And for a very simple reason too: I don't read Tarot cards! I mean even if I did give out free readings (which I don't), I still couldn't give you a Tarot reading. Tarot is an art which I have never learned and quicte frankly, have no desire to learn. It doesn't interest me in the slightest.

I'm sorry, but I don't understand why people keep asking me to give them free taort readings. I don't advertise anywhere, any thing to do with Tarot, so by what logic do you come to me with this question?

Okay, so that's one reason why you can't have a free Tarot reading from me, but let's look at the other reason as well. Okay, let's assume you misspoke, let's assume you don't know the difference between a card reading, a Tarot reading, an Oracle reading, an intuative reading and a psychic reading. Let's assume for the moment that just just call any type of reading regardless of what it is a Tarot reading. Okay, so, beyond proving you are an idiot, what else does it prove? That you are greedy, self centered, arrogant, sly, sneaky, looking to squeeze between the cracks, and don't give a damn about the health, safety and well being of any one other than yourself. How do I come to this conclusion? Simple: giving readings is what I do for a living, it is how I pay the bills and buy food to eat. By refusing to pay for services rendered you are saying that I am not worth a piece of shit to you, and do not deserve to eat the meal your money will buy. To hell with me, to hell with my family, to hell with my health, who cares if we starve to death so long as you get your free reading done, right? Heck, while you're at it, why don't you tell WalMart you aren't paper for toilet parer any more, or how about telling McDonald's you don't feel like paying for that BigMac you just ordered.


Yeah, you know what? Get lost. I don't need self rightious clients like you. Go find some other reader to scam. Yes, you heard me, you are nothing but a two bit scam artist looking to get something for nothing. Everybody bitches and moans about scam psychics, but heck there are ten times as many scam clients as there are scam psychics, why don't more folks bitch about them?

What do you see in my future?

I've said it a million times before and I'll say it again: I am not a furtune teller, I do not predict the future. Sorry, but that is not what I do.

What is my lucky star?

I have absolutly no idea. What's more: I don't know what a lucky star even is, or how in the heck you'd go about finding one. Stars are just stars. A big ball of fire, surrounded by little lumps of rocks inhabited by creatures like us.

I know you don't offer this service, but could you give me an astrology reading anyways?

Well, if I don't offer the service, than why the heck are you asking? If I don't offer a service, it's because of the fact that it is something I probably don't do, and I probably don't do it, because I probably have no idea how to do it, if in fact I even knew what the heck it was in the first place. Forgive me if I seem rude, but where in your idiotic brain do you come to the logic I can do something which is not a service I offer? For crying out loud! Just because I work with one type of magic art doesn't mean I have the slightests idea how to do any of the others! Only thing I know about astrology is that I am a Leo and my birthstone is a peridot, but how or why that is, I've not a clue. I couldn't even tell you what the names of the other astrology signs are let alone what dates coralate to those names.

I met this new guy last week and I thing he's the one, but I'd like to find out if our horoscopes are compatable what can you tell me about his birthday compared to mine?

Horoscope is just another word for astrology. Nope. Sorry, I haven't the faintest idea how to do that sort of stuff. I've never studied it and ain't got no plans to either.


Good morning Starshine! Liked this post? Looking to connect with me online? I love social networks and am on most of them. You can find me on: BloggerEtsyFaceBookGoogle+KeenMySpaceNaNoWriMoProBoardsScript FrenzySpoonflowerSquidooTwitterULC Ministers NetworkWordpress, and Zazzle Feel free to give me a shout any  time. Many blessings to you, may all your silver clouds be lined with rhinestones and sparkle of golden sunshine. Have yourself a great and wonderful glorious day!

~Rev. Wendy C. Allen aka Empress EelKat of Laughing Gnome Hollow


This post was written by Wendy C Allen aka EelKat, is copyrighted by The Twighlight Manor Press and was posted on Laughing Gnome Hollow's Traditional Gypsy Magic and Scottish Hoodoo Blog @ and reposted at EK's Star Log @ and parts of it may also be seen on and  If you are reading this from a different location than those listed above, please contact me Wendy C. Allen aka EelKat @ and let me know where it is you found this post. Plagiarism is illegal and I DO actively pursue offenders. Unless copying a Blog Meme, you do not have permission to copy anything appearing on this blog, including words, art, or photos. This will be your only warning. Thank you and have a glorious day! ~ EelKat


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1 comment:

  1. Oeh, dear it seems that anyone heat your feeling and you are disturb form the behavour of your clients. It is because of all other, who do not have the psychic abilities and they just use to cheat the peoples by stealing their information with different methods.These psychic offer mostly free onilne psychic chat for a while.