Tuesday, May 22, 2012

FAQs: How do you take payment? When do I pay you? With what do I pay you? How exactly do I place an order? I can't use PayPal, do you accept other payment methods?

How do you take payment? When do I pay you? With what do I pay you? How exactly do I place an order?

When do you pay me? Before the spell is started. It's just like you were walking into McDonald's: your order the fries, you pay for the fries, you sit back and wait while they head out back and make the fries. Just like that. You order the spell, you pay for the spell, than you wait while I head out to make you your spell.

How do I accept payment? Cash only. You can pay me in person with cash or you can pay me online via PayPal and wait for PayPal to give the money to my bank and wait for my bank to give me the cash for you. In any case, until I have the actual cash physically in my hand I won't lift a finger to do a bit of work for you.

How to I take payment?

Cash in person or PayPal online.

With what do you pay me?

Cash and cash only.

In person, I only accept cash. I do not accept checks unless you are a close and trusted long time client and I know you have the money and the check won't bounce. I'm sorry, but I've delt with too many scam clients and their bouncing rubber checks, and I no longer accept checks as a result. I can not accept credit cards or money orders or travelers cheques or wired money or non-American currancy because I am not a business, I do not have a cash register, I wouldn't know how to turn your wires/Franques/ruppies/yen/etc into US coinage and greenbacks and I have no way to scan or accept your card, I am just an old Gypsy woman, living in a 22 foot motorhome with 15 cats.

Online, I only accept PayPal. Payments can be sent via PayPal to xavychup@yahoo.com . And as PayPal waits 5 to 7 days before transfering the money to my bank and my bank in turn waits another 5 to 7 days before giving me the money, that therefore means that if you pay online, you will have to wait upto 3 weeks before I start work on your spell, because Honey, until I have cold hard cash in my hand, I do not consider your bill paid, I will do not work without being paid up front. Don't tell me PayPal has it, don't tell me it's in the back...that means nothing to me. It PayPal has it than it's of no good to me is it, seeing as I don't have it yet. Likewise if the bank has it, it isn't yet mine either, is it?

How do you place your order?

You place your order one of two ways:

No Hurry

#1) You walk up to the door of No Hurry, knock on the door, get attacked by 15 cats while you wait for me to answer the door, you tell me what you want, I tell you what you need, you give me the money and your email address than go home, in a few days I get started on your spell and keep in touch with you about it via email.

My Home, My Office, My Front Door

#2) You head to my Etsy shop, tell me what you what, I'll tell you what you need, in a few days I'll set up a custom listing for you, you buy that listing, pay Etsy, Etsy pays PayPal, PayPal pays my bank, my bank pays me and after I have the cash in hand (which has been known to take up to 3 weeks) than I will start doing your spell.

I can't use PayPal, do you accept other payment methods?

I only accept two forms of payment: cash in person (prefered) or PayPal for non-local clients (discouraged).  There is ONLY ONE  reason you would not be able to pay using PayPal and that is if you lived in a contry that does not accept PayPal. That than means your only other option is to buy a plane ticket, travel across the globe, come here to the USA, come to Maine, find your way to Old Orchard Beach, and than start searching through the 30,000+ RV residents that camp in this town until you locate the correct forest, tramp through the forest until you find the correct swamp, than ruin your shoes trampsing through the brook and peat swamp until you get to No Hurry, my bright green motorhome, knock on the door, and hand me the money in person.

Like I have said many times before: I PREFER to work with local clients, I prefer to meet my clients and talk with them face to face BEFORE doing ANY services for them, and I RARELY work with people via online, thus the reason it is so difficult for you to find easy access to buying my services over your computer. Part of that is due to the fact that, I have no electricity, no running water, no phone, no toilet, and I am a hermit who lives in a swamp, in the forest. It's not exactly easy to get internet, electric, or phone services around here, I usually check my email and websites via a library computer, seeiong as I have not had eletricity at all in 6 years, and never had it much in the 40 years prior, so attempting to pay me other than face to face in person, is, not easy, because, well, I'm not a snotty, snob nosed, upscale city dwelling jackass like you who needs to be pampered every second of the day.

I'm sorry, Honey, if I seem rude, but even finding howe about me and my services is difficult at best, but if you are coming to me looking for magical help, than you are pretty desperate, because I'm the old mildewed mother of mud that not even other spell casters dare cross paths with, and if you are coming to me, it's because you've found me word of mouth through other spell casters who've told you, they have done all they can do, your case is too damned hard for them, and I'm your only hope. They sent you to me, because your situation deals with ghosts, hauntings, alien abductions, or other such entities which require dark magic they won't come within a mile of touching. They sent you to me, because they are only rootworkers and witches, inexperianced, young, scared, and afraid to deal with spirit beings on a one on one face to face basis. That's why you come to me, because I'm not some simpering witch casting spells all willy nilly, accidently bringing up spirits they can't handle, you come to me because I'm the witch doctor who cleans up the mess witches make, they sent you to me, because when I speak spirits listen, hear, and obey. If you are coming to me, you ain't looking for some quick fix little fly by night spell, you are looking for hex removals, spirit protection, cleansing, and exorcisms, you are looking for spells most withes never even heard of.  That's why I don't make it easy for you to pay me. I don't need cry baby trash looking for a quick fix, trapsing into my life and boo-hooing their sob story to me, chances are if you need my help, it's your own fault and the last thing you are going to get from me is any sympathy. If you come to me for help, oh I'll help you, but you better make dam sure you know what you are getting into first, you better make damn sure you know what I am, what  do, and how I get results. You better be prepared to purify yourself body and soul, because I call down the Grigory and if your body is not cleansed of sin, they not only won't help you, they'll make your life a living hell to punish you for wasting their time. Do your research, Honey, there's a damn good reason people are terrified of me.

That's why I do not make it easy for you to pay me and that's why my sevices are not cheap. That's why, no matter where in the world you live, I tell you to walk up to my front door and give me the money in person. I'm not easy to find, I'm not easy to get to, and if you can find me, than, Honey, I'll know you really are desperatly on your last legs, and have run out of all hope. Don't think anywhere is too far, I've had folks show up here in Maine from as far away as Alaska and Austrailia. It's all up to you, how baddly you think you need my services. if you ain't desperate enough to come pay me cash in person, than Honey, you don't need my services do you?


Good morning Starshine! Liked this post? Looking to connect with me online? I love social networks and am on most of them. You can find me on: BloggerEtsyFaceBookGoogle+KeenMySpaceNaNoWriMoProBoardsScript FrenzySpoonflowerSquidooTwitterULC Ministers NetworkWordpress, and Zazzle Feel free to give me a shout any  time. Many blessings to you, may all your silver clouds be lined with rhinestones and sparkle of golden sunshine. Have yourself a great and wonderful glorious day!

~Rev. Wendy C. Allen aka Empress EelKat of Laughing Gnome Hollow


This post was written by Wendy C Allen aka EelKat, is copyrighted by The Twighlight Manor Press and was posted on Laughing Gnome Hollow's Traditional Gypsy Magic and Scottish Hoodoo Blog @ http://laughinggnomehollow.blogspot.com and reposted at EK's Star Log @ http://eelkat.wordpress.com and parts of it may also be seen on http://www.squidoo.com/EelKat and http://laughinggnomehollow.proboards.com  If you are reading this from a different location than those listed above, please contact me Wendy C. Allen aka EelKat @ http://laughinggnomehollow.proboards.com/index.cgi?action=viewprofile and let me know where it is you found this post. Plagiarism is illegal and I DO actively pursue offenders. Unless copying a Blog Meme, you do not have permission to copy anything appearing on this blog, including words, art, or photos. This will be your only warning. Thank you and have a glorious day! ~ EelKat


Did you know you can now get a FREE Kindle for your PC? Be sure to download your FREE Kindle directly from Amazon today. Don't have Windows PC? No worries! Amazon is also offering 100% FREE Kindles for: AndroidWindows Phone 7MaciPhone, and BlackBerry. And don't miss out on over 1.8 million Free eBooks from Amazon's Kindle Store.


No comments:

Post a Comment