Sunday, June 10, 2012

FAQs: Can I apprentice with you to become a Celtic Faery Shaman like you?

Can I apprentice with you to become a Celtic Faery Shaman like you? 


Uhm...what did you just call me? A Celtic Faery Shaman? And that would be WHAT exactly? Skip that for a sec, let's go to the rest of your question first. Apprenticeship.  

Okay, I know I've said this somewhere before, but I don't think I said it on this particular blog yet, so I'l say it again: at time point in time I do not take on apprentices. I have never had an apprentice. Chances are pretty high that I never will have an apprentice. If I ever should have an apprentice, it'll be someone I know, someone close, not someone who randomly emails me online. First off, do you even know what an apprenticship is and what an apprentice does, or the fact that traditional apprenticeships are illegal in America? An aprentice is (ALWAYS) a young child, usually between the ages of 3 to 8, but once in a while as old as 12. The child's parent's sell the child to the teacher, and the child lives with the teacher as an indebted servent for the next 20 years of it's life, doing all the hard physical labor and chores, thus allowing the teacher time to work.You want to be a socerors apprentice than? First how old are you? Are you between the ages of 3 to 8? Are you parents willing to sell you and never be allowed to see you again? Are you willing to never be allowed to see family and friends again? The apprentice learns by living with the teacher 24 hrs a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year, for 20 years. There are no acctual lessons taught. The apprentice learns by observation, and what they learn depends on how well they can sit and watch while still getting their chores done. It is both slave labor and child labor and has been illegal in the USA since the late 1960s. 

Okay, so apprenticship has changed. Alright, let's say we skip all the "old" and "illegal" stuff, and say that an older person can become an aprentice of their free will. You still have to leave your friends and family to live with me and pretty much change your life to do absolutly everything I do. Can you live as I live, in a swamp, in the forest, on a cold icey beach, where the temps reach -48F 2 to 3 months a year, and rarely reach 60F even in the summer, all the while living without electricity, running water, showers, toilets, and wearing the same cloths (and sleeping in them) for weeks, sometimes months on end? Can you live, under a tarp for 6 years, surviving 5 hurricanes, 3 blizzards, 2 ice storms, and endless months of thunder and lightening storms during those 6 years? Can you live off the land without access to money, stores, or food? Can you live with no phone, no TV, no electricity, no flashlights, your sun being the only source of light requiring you to get up at 4AM and go to bed at 6PM? Can you live in silence, without vocal or physical responce to locals who throw rocks at you, beat you up, break your hip, break your arm, kill your pets, burn your house down, and cut your car in half? Can you live a life of isolation with no friends and being shunned by your relatives, told you are evil, and take up communicating with spirits BECAUSE they are the only beings on God's planet who will talk civily to you? Are you a minority race that has to live with daily violence, bigotry, and hate crimes? Why do I ask this of you? Because, that is my life, those are the events of the last 6 years, and if you decide to be my friend, become my apprentice, live with me, and live as I do, you will become hated and outed by your friends, your family, and society. I am by race a Gypsy, the most hated of all races to ever exist on this place. 

Don't come floating all lovey-dovey in to me and romaticising what being a Gypsy means. Most folks can not father even living a single day in my life, let alone living it every day for the rest of their life. Do you have even the slightest idea what it is you are asking, when you ask to be my appentice? I don't do what I do to be cute and fluffy bunny, this isn't a hobby or a religion, this is my culture, this is the way we people are, this is how we live, and magic art is not a hobby for us that we do in our spare time, it is part of every second of every day of our lives. You can't take lessons to learn "Gypsy Magic", all you can do is live our lives with us.

Now, let's get back to that other part of your question. Celtic Faery Shaman

What exactly is a Celtic Faery Shaman? Why would you even think to call me this? Celtic Faery Shaman is certainly not a term I have ever used or even ever heard of. I will try to deduce why it is you hae refered to me in this manner and see if that helps me to be able to answer your question more clearly. First off let's look at each word in the title you are using to describe me:

Celtic:  Celtic is a race of people, mostly of Roman/Italian decent, but also of German, Saxon, Latin, and French decent. They were a branch of Roman soilders who used Catholicism as an excuse to rape and murder all none Christians to fall in their path of blood and destruction. They are not as common myth states Welsh, Irish or Scottish. Welsh, Irish and Scottish races are from Norse, Scandinavian, Russian, and Siberian decent and are known as Gaels and Picts. Also contray to popular myth, the Celts were Christians, not Pagans. The Celts were a cruel and brutal race of people who invaded Wales, Ierland, and Scotland, and proceeded on orders of their leader St Patrick, to slaughter all the "savage heathens" who refused to covert to Christianity. The Celt tortured women and children to death in order to force the men to convert. Families who refused to become Christians were burned to death in their sleep, had their villages razed, and the few Welsh, Irish, and Scottish folks who were able to survive the Celtic Invasion of Britainia, gathered up their bright colored plaids and painted wagons and feed to Egypt. When they returned to their native homelands of Wales, Ireland, and Scotland years later, they were nicknamed "The Gypsies" and were not allowed back home. These Welsh, Irish, and Scottish Travellers put a curse on the Celts, than left their native homelands vowing to never again make a plot of land their home, instead calling the entire world their home and travelling across all of it.

You seem to be refering to me as Celtic because I am Scottish. I want to make it very clear, right here, and right now, that there is not a race of people on this whole planet, whom the Scotts hate worse than the Celts. The Celts are nothing but murderous scum, who kill women and children, and lock families in the homes than burn the house down. Celts were sick, violent, perverted, bigoted, hate mongering race of criminals, who did nothing but raze, rape, and plunder. They were Christians at their worst. They are amoung the vilest people to ever walk the face of the Earth.

May I remind you of my race? Scottish Traveller Gypsy.

May I remind you WHO it was that stole our lands and forced us to have no home to return to? Celtic Invaders.

May I now ask you where you get off calling me, a Scottish Traveller Gypsy, Celtic?

And finally, you can't become Celtic! Celtic is NOT a title! Celtic is not an adjective. Celtic is a race. No ammount of studying Celtic is ever going to make you Celtic. You can like Celtics. You can think Celts are great. But no ammount of fauning and fanning is ever going to make you turn into a Celtic. Honey, you need to get off your prissy magical Wiccan ass, and learn some REAL history for a change. Find out what a Celt REALLY is, and find out why it's a BAD THING to call a Scottish, Irish, or Welsh person "Celtic". By calling a Scottish person "Celtic" you ain't doing nothing but requoting Silver Ravenwolf's innacurate, fictional, fantasy based alternate history of the world.

Faery: I am not gay. I am a biological female, and very much love men, I'm afraid I can't help you to become a Faery. Faery, spelt with a "-y" means "a gay man" usually a transvestite or a woman who is a non-biological female. I believe you meant "Faerie", not "Faery". 

Faerie, spelt with an "-ie" is a race of people, whom live in a plane of existabce which is both within and without our world. They exist beside us, yet we can not see them and they can not see us, our world being invisable one to another. There are places, often called portals, coves, hedges, or rifts in time, where the 2 world overlap in such a manner allowing people from one to pass to the other, thus resulting in "sightings" or "contact" with what we Humans refer to as "energy beings", "aliens", "angels", "ghosts", or "Faeries". So people have the "gift of sight" and are able to see these portals or hedges between the worlds, thus making them able to "cross the hedge" at will. These people are refered to as "Hedgewalkers". I am a Hedgewalker. I channel Faeries frequently.

Shaman: A Siberian word which basically means the same thing as "Hedgewalker", it is the title of someone who communicates with the spirit world.

Celtic Faery: This would be a gay male of Italian descent, who now lives in the Bristish Isles. 

Celtic Shaman: To my knowledge there is no such thing, though there may be some New Age, Wicca-type group using the term. It seems every day there are hundreds of new "branches" of Wicca being invented.

Faery Shaman: This would a shaman who is a gay male.

Okay, that's done. 

I believe the term you were looking for, is Scottish Faerie Hedgewalker. A person of ACTUAL Scottish decent, who channeles spirits in general and Fae in particular. 

So you want to learn to do this? Well, I don't know what I can tell you. I'm born Scottish. Scottish is a race. You can't become Scottish! Scottish is NOT a title! Scottish is not an adjective. Scottish is a race. No ammount of studying Scottish is ever going to make you Scottish. You can like Scotts. You can think Scotts are great. But no ammount of fauning and fanning is ever going to make you turn into a Scott.

Same holds true of being a Gypsy. I hear folks all the time who call themselves a "Gypsy" and I ask them what makes them a Gypsy and they will say stuff like: "I learned to belly dance", or "I live full time in my Airstream", or "I do fortune telling and read tea leaves".  Yeah, so? 

Belly dancing is Turkish and Egyptian, not Scottish or Welsh or Irish. Gypsies don't belly dance. The only time you are going to see a belly dancing Gypsy is in Hollywood movies. 

Honey, there are 20million families in America who live in RVs, trailers, campers, and motorhomes full time; want to guess how many of them are Gypsies? About 3,000. Yes, there are A LOT more Gypsies than that in the USA, but most of them live in houses, not many travel or live in RVs. Remember: being a Gypsy is about your DNA not where or how you live. Gypsy is a race NOT another name for being nomadic! 

So you tell fortunes and read tea leave, well, whoop-dee-do for you! I bet you got a great big glass ball and a purple scarf dripping in gold coin fringe too! Yeah, can any one say Hollywood? Fortune telling and tea leaf reading is Chinese folk magic, and ain't got nothing to do with Gypsy magic.  Let me point out that I don't give much salt to "psychics" and "fortune tellers". Readings are ment to be done in conjuntion with other type of work, spiritual cleansings, altar work, spell casting, something, anything...a reading for the sake of a reading is a modern phenomina, a result of amusement park fortune telling, which was done by Gypsies (my people) as a form of entertainment for tourists. Gypsies telling fortunes in carnivals are not meant to be taken seriously and any Gypsy will tell you that! Gypsy fortune telling is a parlor trick and any REAL Gypsy fortune teller will tell you as much. And you won't see no REAL Gypsy fortune teller outside of a carny show, because when it comes to REAL Gypsy magic fortune telling has no part of it. Scam artists took it out of the side show and attempted to make a living on it, using it as though it could stand alone! Fact is, REAL Gypsy readings, done outside of the fair grounds, are always done in preperation for some sort of magic work, and readings when done alone is just for fun to entertain people. That's the way my people have always done it, and non-Gypsies came along and thought, "Heck, I can do that to make money", thus why you now have psychic hotlines and people out there in tea rooms pretending to be "genuine" Gypsy fortune tellers! Any time you see some one reading cards or leaves and telling you they are doing Gypsy magic, you know they are nothing but a big fat fake phoney sham trying to scam you out of your hard earned money! 

When you say these things you make a mockery of my people! We are "hard core" Gypsies, the real deal, not those fruity tooty wannabes you see online who slap the word "Gypsy" to their online name, like it's some sort of title. Gypsy is NOT a title, it is a race, a culture, just like being born Asian or Caucasian or Native American or African American - either you are born a Gypsy or you are not, you CAN NOT BECOME a Gypsy and no amount of calling yourself a Gypsy will ever make you one.  And don't go saying "Oh so you are Romany, right?" No. Wrong. We are not Romany. We Gypsies hate being called Romany every bit as much as the Romany hate being called Gypsies. The Romany are dark skinned and of Middle Eastern descent, we Gypsies are light skinned and of Norse descent.

What I have to ask you now, my dear, is where are you from? What is your culture? Are you American, Japanese, Austrailian, etc? If you are Japanese, than you can become a Japanese Faerie Shaman, if you are Hatian, than you can become a Hatian Faerie Shaman, etc. Do you get the point now? You can't change your DNA, you are what you are, so don't grab the name of someone else's race and slap it in from of your name like silly title, because guess what: saying you are Celtic or Gypsy when you are not, is the same as yelling out "Hey Nigar!" to a black man. When you call yourself Celtic you mock the Italians, who really are Celtic. Let me tell you it another way:

Since the deaths of both my grandmothers, many of our clansmen have taken up the modern ways of American white folk abandoning the traditions of our culture. I believe in learning the new ways, but I do not believe in going so far as to shun your culture and do as many in my clan have done: pretend to be white folks. Many of my clansmen are now actively denying they have Gypsy blood, because as they put it: they want to "get on good terms with white folks, make them think we are one of them, so they will accept us as equals". Be friends with other cultures, join their activities, marry their people, yes, but deny who you are and where you can from?  They are ashamed of the blood that flows in their veins. This makes me sad. Yet I understand their pain. The hate crimes against my people are horrendous. Call a dark man the N-word you go to jail, yet burn down a Gypsy's home and the courts drop the charges with "Well, no one cares it was only a Gypo". White folks burned down my farm, killed my animals, cut my car in half, beat me up, broke my hip one year, my arm another year, I know their pain, I know their fears, I understand why they pretend to be what they are not, but calling yourself a white man does not change what you are born as. To pretend to be something you are not, is to say "I give up, they win, I am defeated." It is wrong. Just as it is wrong for them to pretend to be white Americans, so too is it wrong for you to pretend to be Celtic. 

Be who you are, be proud of what you were born as. God makes no mistakes, you are born as you are ment to be. If God had wanted you to be Celtic, you would have been born Celtic. Every race, every culture has a history of native magic arts; those are the magic arts you should pursue. Know your history. Embrace your heritage. Only than will you find the magic path which is right for you.

I can't teach you to be a Hedgewalker either. No one taught me. I was born this way. Either you can see them or you can't, simple as that.

FYI: I welcome all email! That includes arrogant, bigoted, rude, ignorant, snide hate mail many uber religious folks enjoy sending my way.  However, be forewarned that by choosing to send me a letter, email, blog comment, FaceBook comments, or any other message from any other means, which falls into any category, you thereby relenquish all ownership rights and responsibilities concerning your letter(s) and comments(s). I will post any and all letters, both positive and negative, that I feel require or deserve a response. If you don't want the world knowing your troubles, knowing you are a hater, or knowing you are a bigoted jackass, please refrain from sending me mail, because if you get really bitchy, I'll go right ahead and use your real name too. Thank you and have a nice day.
Good morning Starshine! Liked this post? Looking to connect with me online? I love social networks and am on most of them. You can find me on: BloggerEtsyFaceBookGoogle+KeenMySpaceNaNoWriMoProBoardsScript FrenzySpoonflowerSquidooTwitterULC Ministers NetworkWordpress, and Zazzle Feel free to give me a shout any  time. Many blessings to you, may all your silver clouds be lined with rhinestones and sparkle of golden sunshine. Have yourself a great and wonderful glorious day!
~Rev. Wendy C. Allen aka Empress EelKat of Laughing Gnome Hollow

This post was written by Wendy C Allen aka EelKat, is copyrighted by The Twighlight Manor Press and was posted on Laughing Gnome Hollow's Traditional Gypsy Magic and Scottish Hoodoo Blog @ and reposted at EK's Star Log @ and parts of it may also be seen on and  If you are reading this from a different location than those listed above, please contact me Wendy C. Allen aka EelKat @ and let me know where it is you found this post. Plagiarism is illegal and I DO actively pursue offenders. Unless copying a Blog Meme, you do not have permission to copy anything appearing on this blog, including words, art, or photos. This will be your only warning. Thank you and have a glorious day! ~ EelKat
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