Saturday, August 25, 2012

FAQ: I heard there was this thing called Mariaj Lwa

I heard there was this thing called Mariaj Lwa where voodoo practitioners marry a lwa. What is this exactly? Is this like what nuns do when they marry Christ? Why would someone want to marry a lwa? What do you have to do? What do you think are the pros and cons of marriage with a lwa? Is this practiced in the path you follow? Are you married to a lwa? How does one get choosen for this? Would you marry the lwa if you was chosen to?

This is a really interesting question. Thank you for asking it. It's not the type of question I get very often. Most folks look at Voodoo and think Bela Lugosi movies and Halloween Witches. I get a flurry of questions about "How do I use a Voodoo Doll to kill my enemy?" and "Why do Voodoo priests worship Satan?" and other such sill nonsences, but rarely do I actually get questions about Voodoo that actually have anything to do with actual real Voodoo rituals. You question tells me that you are actually interested in leanring something and are not some bigoted religous creep trying to find reasons to condemn and also not some misinformed kid looking to show off to their friends with some great big magic trick. You actually went out and did some research on your own and found out the actual name of an actual Voodoo ritual, and worded your question in a manner of respect, not in just or sarcaism. You are new to Voodoo this I can tell from a few minor mistakes in your question, but that is fine, because I can tell you are asking an honest question and are not intending any disrespect. Okay, so let's get down to business here.

First off, while "lwa" is a correct and accepted term, I usually prefer the older more traditional spelling of loa, instead. Different houses use different spellings, so it's more of a regional thing, but the way I was taught it, the spelling was loa, so that is the spelling I use. And for those who are reading this, who may not know what a loa or a lwa is, a loa is a type of spirit being, similar to Angels and Faeries. Some loas are born as spirits, others are ghosts, spirits of the dead. While some loas are more famous than others, and about 20 or so (Legba, Simbi, Damballa, Erzulie, etc) are revered by most all Voodoo practitioners, there are literally many thousands of loa. Lwa by the way, is another word for "zombie" which is an even only spelling than "loa", and nzambi is an even older spelling than that. Note however that most practitioners today avoid using the original term "zombie" because of the media's having changed the meaning of the word zombie from "spirt being" to "living dead person". Lwa and loa are relativly new terms created to replace the original true and correct term which is "zombie" or "nzambi".

Secondly Voodoo is the name of a religion and by proper grammar rules, the name of all relgions are always capitalied. When referancing the religion, always use "Voodoo" with a capital "V" and only when speaking in terms of adjective, adverbs, etc (She's going to voodoo him) would you use the term "voodoo" without a captial "v".

Thirdly, make sure you know what you are talking about when you say the word "Voodoo". Do you really mean "Voodoo"? Or were you meaning to say "Vodou"? Or did you actuall mean "Hoodoo"? 


Vudu (also Vuvu) [which means "the circle of life" or "to draw water" or "to let life flow as water"] is an ancient African belief system dated to about 10,000BC. It is the world's oldest known "organized" religion. It is based on the theory that all life was created by The One God, and that he had many wives, each wife being the mother of a tribe (race, country, or culture) on the Earth. Out of respect for a heavenly parentage, detailed records of lineages are keept, so that no one who ever lived is ever forgotten. Bones of the dead a carefully preserved in shrines, where on the persons "day" (either birth day or death day) gifts are left to let the spirits of the dead know they have not been forgotten. Death is seen as a joyful reunion with the ansectors. No gods or idols are ever worshiped. Over the many centuries, each tribe developed it's own set of "rituals" for use to help remember the centuries long lists of the names of the dead. The religion of The One God scattered into many (hundreds) of variations.

Meanwhile, in Europe  the Celts were busy invading and forceing Paganism, Druidy, and Heathenism on the Picts. The Picts practiced Hoodoo, which is also known as Welsh Faerie Faith. Hoodoo (which means "haunted place" or "place where spirit dwell) was a heavily magic based religion, which called on the assistants of "The People of the Mists", "The Wee Folk", "The Good People", (Leprechauns, Gnomes, Pixies, Boogals, Srlkies, Kelpies, etc, collectivly known as The Fae). The Romans would soon follow and attack the Celts forcing Christianity on them, with the infamous evil bigot St Patrick in the head, decreeing death to all who did not convert to Catholicism. Picts, where now being called Scotts, and to avoid death, because to call Hoodooing "Intecesory Prayer" claiming that they were calling on Angels not Faeries. Catholics thought this was a good thing, so soon created the concept of Saints, and started demading Christians pray to Saints. By the 1300s many Scotts were still refusing to convert to Christianity, and were forced to flee Scotland. They became known as "The Scottish Travellers" or "The Scottish Gypsies" (and are in no way related to the Rom or Romany Gypsies). They settled in Germany where they were refered to as "The Pied Pipers" for their plaid tartan clothing and their playing of "magical pipes". They used Hoodoo magic without persicuition, until 1458 when Henerich Kramer wrote "The Witch's Hammer" a book which detailed the hows and whys of witchcraft, how to spot a witch, and more importantly how to kill a witch. He gave copies of his book to every church leader he could and as a result 20,000 men, women, and children were slaughtered in the first German Haulaust.

Vodou (also Vodu, or Vodun) is an African based religion started in the 1600s in Haiti by the slaves who combined elements of many African tribal religions. They could not communicate because they each spoke different languages, but they all shared very similar religious rituals to remember their lineages and reverance their dead, and used this as a way to unify themselves. The many hundreds of variations of Vudu once again becam united, now under the name of Vodou. However, plantation owners saw unity between slaves as a threat (which was the very reason they never owned slaves who could speak the same language with one another) and set out to punish and kill any slave found practicing Vodou.

Meanwhile, in New England the Scottish Traveller Gypsies had fled Germany and were now living in a little town called Salam, where the German Christians had followed them to, and was continung to kill them. At the same time Plantation slaves were escaping North into the Ozark mountains, Scottish Gypsies were escaping South, also into the safty of the Ozark mountains. Here Hatian Vodou and Scottish Hoodoo meet up and joined forced, creating both The Underground Railroad and a totally new religion called Voodoo. The Scottish Hoodooers taught the Haitian Vodunists about the use of poppets (Hoodoo Dolls, later renamed Voodoo Dolls in the 1920s by Hollywood directors) to heal their sick and to put curses on the slave owners. They also taught the Vodunists how to hide their ancestoral worship, by using Catholic Saint Icons. By the late 1700s Voodoo had taken hold in the southern United States.

In summary:

Vudu (Vuvu) is an African ancestor ritual religion. It contains no worship practices, has no church buildings, no dogmas to follow, and contains no magic practice. There are no clery and thus no initiations. It is NOT recognized by federal government organized 501 non-profit tax exempt religion. Vudu focuses on ancestors.

Vodou (Vodu or Vodun) is an African based Haitian religion, which incorperated ansctor rituals, with God worship, and Catholic Saint rituals. It contains minimal magic, if any at all. There are temples, clergy, church meetings, congrgational worship services, and a lengthy and highlt details list of domas and rules. To become a member requires 21 baptisms and to become clergy requires initiation. It IS an official recognized by federal government organized 501 non-profit tax exempt religion. Vodou focuses on ancestors, worship, church attendance, and service to the spirits (lwa) of The One God.

Hoodoo is a Scottish based magic practice which involved reverance to nature spirits, with spirits granting requests in exchange for gifts and often, though not always, incorporates Catholic Saint rituals. There are no clery and thus no initiations. It is NOT recognized by federal government organized 501 non-profit tax exempt religion. Hoodoo focuses on magic, spell casting, divination, hexes, curses, and exorcisms.

Voodoo is an American New Age Magic Based Religion that takes Scottish Hoodoo Magic, Italian Catholic Saint Rituals, and some but not all practices of the Haitian Vodou religion and throws them all together into a totally random mixed bag. Normally Voodoo is NOT recognized by federal governmant organzied 501 non-profit tax exempt religion. Voodoo is ONLY an officially recognized by federal governmant organzied 501 non-profit tax exempt religion, IF the Houngan or Mambo of the individual house was INITIATED through the Haitian Vodou religion, in which case it is considered by the government to be a Vodou priest who ALSO practices Voodoo in addition to Vodou, thus explaining why many Voodoo priests and priestess seek out Vodou initiation even though Voodoo itself is not a religion and does not require initiation. Voodoo focuses on service to the spirits (lwa) of The One God as a way to do magic, spell casting, divination, hexes, curses, and excorisms.

I want to clear this out of the way before I answer your question, because most folks have no idea the difference between Vodou, Hoodoo, and Voodoo and a lot of misinformed folks go around saying they are all the same thing and just different spellings of all one thing, when in fact, they are not!

Okay, so, why did I say all of this? Well, because you said this: "I heard there was this thing called Mariaj Lwa where voodoo practitioners marry a lwa". This is not a correct statement. Vodou practitioners often marry a lwa, yes, but Voodoo practitioners rarely marry a lwa. Marrying a lwa is a religious ritual. Vodou is a religion with lots of rituals. Voodoo has lots of rituals, but is not a religion. 

 Mariaj Lwa is a Vodou ritual not a Voodoo ritual. Okay? Good. So we've cleared that up. Moving on. Now we can get to actually answering your questions.

I heard there was this thing called Mariaj Lwa where voodoo practitioners marry a lwa. What is this exactly?

It is exactly what it says it is, marriage to a lwa, or more correctly "a zombie wedding". There is a full blown wedding, with a priest, bride, groom, bridesmaids, showers, wedding gown, tuxedo, exchange of rings, exchange of vows, reception, wedding feast, singing, dancing, not a little quiet back yard wedding, but a huge full blown over the top elaborate extravigant event just like when Diana married Prince Charles. Some people when they marry a lwa while spend tens of thousands of dollars on the wedding and spend several years planning the event. Personally, I am not in favor of this sort of thing, as I see it as a huge waste of money. Okay, if you are going to buy a wedding dress and tux, than you'll have to spend a few hundred dollars and another couple hundred on the rings maybe another hundred to pay the priest for services and a couple hundred more for food. At the absolute most you shouldn't ever need to spend more than $3,000 tops, and even that is a bit higher than I'd recommend. You could easily pull the whole thing off for under a $1,000. So folks who go crazy and spend 10, 20, 30, or even 100 thousand dollars on their marriage to a lwa, are just nuts trying to show off. The wedding should be about the lwa, not about showing off how much money you have to throw around!

But all that is the actual wedding itself, and it's about a lot more than just the wedding, and I think a lot of folks forget that. They get so caught up in planning for the wedding and throwing the biggest party they can afford, that they forget WHY they are doing it. It is a lifelong commitment and a lot of hard work, and there is no divorce or way out once you've stepped in you can't back down. I think some people just want a big wedding and use this as an excuse to get it, and that's just wrong.

Is this like what nuns do when they marry Christ?

I believe it is. I'm not sure though, because I am unfamilar with Catholicism. I have never studied Catholicism and have never had any involvment in Catholicism or known any one who did. So I really have no idea what nuns do when they marry Christ, or what marrying Christ even means to them, why they do it, or anything else. Sorry, but I really can't give you an answer for this one, because I have no idea. I would guess it is more or less the same thing though, because nuns give up their secular life to devote every day of the rest of their life to serving Christ, and that is basically the same thing a Vodounist does when they marry a lwa.

Why would someone want to marry a lwa? How does one get choosen for this?

The lwa comes to you in a dream or a vision or a possesion. The lwa may come only once and tell you out right that s/he has choosen you as his/her bride/groom or the lwa may come to you many times, acting kindly and affectionate towards you, conditioning you to his/her company and eventually (after just a few days or after as many as several years) ask if you would consider their offer of marriage. Some lwa may ask or request nicely, while others may demand or theaten in a fearsom manner, depending on the nature of the lwa in question. It is not uncommon for 3 lwa to come to you at once and all 3 ask you to marry them. Male lwas usually ask to marry female Vodounists and female lwa usually ask to marry male Vodounists, but male lwas may also ask males to marriage and female lwas sometimes ask females to marriage, and sometimes a lwa couple (a male lwa and his female lwa compainion) may ask for your marriage to them both.

Folks outside the Vodou faith, usually see marriage to a lwa as being a sexual union, often interprting it as sex with a spirit, demons trying to spawn with humans, incubus lusting after women sort of thing. While marriage to a lwa, may on rare occasions have sexual overtones, usually this is not the case. Usually a lwa who wants to have sex with you will simply take possession within the body of your sex partner without asking for permission from you or your partner. The Vodou religion is very relaxed and liberal about sex, and couples are often sexually active for many years before they get around to the commitment of marriage. Most folks look at this from a Christian stand point, which states that the ONLY reason to get married is so that you can legally have sex. One must keep in mind here that the concept of sex as a reason to get married is less than 300 years old and was created by Christains. In the Vodou faith, sex is about creating children and creating children often, thus sex with multiple partners is not uncommon, nor is sex outside of marriage. Couples who are married, may not actually ever have sex with each other, but they may have sex with people they are not married to as a way to ensure more children are born. 

In Vodoun marriage is not about the the right to have sex or create children, but rather the commitment to take care of and protect another person and serve them with the utmost devotion for the rest of your life. This explains why most lwas have multiple spouses. 

For example Damballa has 3 wives, and one of those wives has 5 husbands and one of her husbands has another 2 wives besides her. Damballa takes care of and protects each of his wives. Likewise the wives take care of and protect him. The wife with 5 husbands, takes care of and protects each of her husbands, and each of them takes care of and protects her. 

The goal here is family unity. Every body has somebody who loves them enough to take care of them, look out for them, and protect them from harm. Because marriage is not about the act of sex, you see men marry men and women marry women, which leads to the misconception that there are an overly high rate of gays and lesbians in Vodou. While gays, lesbians, bi-sexualy, and transgenders folks are openly accepted in most Vodou communities, marriage between same sex couples does not always mean the couple is in fact gay. Christians (who for some reason think of everything in terms of sex) usually find if very difficult to understand the Vodou concept of marriage without sexual requirements. 

The concept of marriage as a commitment to take care of someone forever, without any sexual obligations, is just too hard for the overly sexed Christian mind to graspe. In theory if everybody has somebody to protect them, than no one will ever be hurt. The whole thing is farther complicated by the fact that in addition to husbands marrying wives and parents having children, many also have dozens of "adopted" godchildren who are not related by blood or marriage but are still considered family. The end result is Vodou families are HUGE. The whole thing is very complicated and generally too difficult for most folks raised of a Christian mindset to wrap their brains around.

I tell you all this, to show you that marriage to a lwa, is not about having sexual relations with a spirit, but rather it is about devoting your life to serving that spirit in exchange for his/her protecting you. And this is why is does not matter if the lwa you marry is male or female.

What do you have to do?

It is different for different lwas, and different Houses/Temples teach varying traditions so there is no set in stone hard and fast rule regarding it. One would do what you are taught is correct in your own House. There are some basic general guidelines that are more or less consistant from one house to the next, which are as follows:

Get asked to marry the lwa.

Accept proposal.

Be courted by said lwa, while planning and preparing the wedding feast.

Build altar/shrine to the lwa. Even if you already have one, you must build one, because this is a special altar, seperate from your daily devotaional or magic working altar. You must never have items intended for other lwa on this altar.

Throw wedding feast, exchange vows/rings. (You will wear your wedding ring for the rest of your life. The robes and ring of the law wil be kept on the altar, usually a draw to hold the robes, with the ring placed on the top of the altar.)

Devote first 40 days of marriage to the lwa. Wear white for 40 days. Some brides choose to wear their wedding dress for this. Abstaine from salt, sugar, sex, smoking, drugs, and drinking for 40 days. Eat only foods accepted by lwa (for example Damballa would expect you to drink only water and eat only white eggs, white rice, and white bread, for 40 days). If you are married to a human spouse, you must sleep in seperate rooms for these 40 days as well. Tend the altar daily for 40 days.

After the first 40 days are over, you can go back to your normal rutines, with the following changes:

For the rest of your life you are expected to take off one day a week, to devote to the lwa, in the same way you devoted the 40 days to him/her. Each lwa has a particular day of the week, which is considered "thier day", same way as the Christians declare Sunday to be God's day so they take the day off from work to attend church on Sunday and the Jews and Seventh Day Adventists declare Saturday to be God's day. Each lwa has a day of the week, for example Damballa's day of the week is Thursday. So if you was to marry Damballa, you would be expected to wear white on Thursday (some brides choose to wear their wedding dress for this) and to abstaine from salt, sugar, sex, smoking, drugs, and drinking on Thursday; Thursday would be the day on which you would set out fresh offerings on Damballa's altar; if you have a human spouse, on Thursday you would sleep in seperate rooms. You would do this every week, for the rest of your life. If you forget a week, the lwa may become angry and choose to not protect you until you did something to show you still care. Some lwa are more tempermental than others. For example, Erzulie, known for her extreme jealousy, will often demand you redo the 40 day ritual you did in the beginning, followed by a feast in her honor on the 41st day, before she will forgive your forgetting her for a single day, while a more calm lwa like Damballa may only ask for you to wear white and eat nothing but water, eggs, and rice for 7 days.

In addition to the weekly devotionals, you will be expected by some lwa, to do more elaborate monthly rituals, and if the lwa has a specific day assigned to them (in the same way Jesus has Christmas December 25th assigned to him) you will be expected to give a large feast in the lwa's honor on their day.

Some houses have far more detailed steps you must follow, including signing certain songs on certain days, or dancing certain dances, or playing drums, or reciting the liniages of the lwa's family or presiding over congregational events your House holds in honor of the lwa. Some Houses ask you to devote 2 days a week to the lwa, one at home and one in the temple. Some Houses say you must not do work for clients (readings, rootwork, etc) on the day of your lwa, while other Houses will say you can ONLY do work for your clients on the day of your lwa, and others say you can do work for your clients with other lwas on the other 6 days but with your lwa spouse only on his/her day. There may be other things which your House requires, say some might say you must keep a pet snake if you marry Damballa. Some will tell you, not to wear white, but rather the colors of your lwa, for example Erzulie Freda would have you wear pale pink and light blue while Erzulie Dantor would require blood red and navy blue. Every House will be different when it come to these sorts of details. When in doubt ask your House leader (Houngan or Mambo) what it is they recommend.

What do you think are the pros and cons of marriage with a lwa?

The biggest pro is protection. The lwa promise to protect you, that is the whole reason you accept their proposal to marriage.

The biggest con is sacrifice. You sacrifice a lot of time and a lot of what some would term "pleasures" to devote your life fully to maintaining a shrine to your lwa.

Is this practiced in the path you follow?

Most religious groups have some form of a marriage to a spirit. As you mentioned already, Catholic nuns marrying Christ. There are some 3 million single Mormon women who have gone and gotten themselves married to Joseph Smith Jr even though he's been dead 200 years and the in spite of the fact that the Mormon Church strictly forbid them from doing this.

Marriage to lwa is a strictly Vodou tradition. It is not a part of Vudu, Hoodoo, or Voodoo. However, while it is NEVER used in Vudu or Hoodoo, it is sometimes done in Voodoo. As I mentione earlier Voodoo is taking Hoodoo and throwing bits and pieces of Vodou into it. Which parts of Vodou is used varies from one House to the next, with each preist and priestess picking and choosing parts of Vodou they like best and tossing the rest by the wayside. As such SOME Voodoo Houses do practice Mariaj Lwa, though most do not.

Now you ask specifically about the path I personaly follow. My path is a mix of Mormon and Hoodoo, neither of which have a tradition of marrying spirits, though it has been done in both traditions Mormons often marry dead prophets, and Scottish Gypsies often marry Faeries and Nature Spirits (and always with the whole "I'm marrying this spirit so I can have sex with it" attitude). Neither tradition has the "commitment for eternity without sexual obligation" attitude that Vodou has.

Now, I am not Vodou. There are many dogmas and rituals in Vodou which I do not agree with, biggest of them being animal sacrifice. Like the Jews, Vodou does practice animal sacrific and has a whole big ritual event of taking sheep, goats, or chickens to a temple to be killed by a priest. This is what prevents me from joining Vodou, because otherwise I do in fact believe pretty much the whole rest of the religion. Mariaj Lwa is a Vodou ritual.

That said, I am Voodoo, Voodoo being a branch of Vodou, in which each House borrows some, but not all of the Vodou rituals. I am an uninitiated member of the House of the Lansquin. It is a very small House with only a few members and they do not advertise or activly go about seeking out new members. It is more or less what many would consider to be not unlike a "Witch's Coven". Vodou Houses and Voodoo Temples tend to be more like a church, with a big open building, rows of seats, and lots of members coming together once a week. The House of the Lansquin does not have this, because it is lead by a Houngan who suffers a terrible speach impediment (born with a clef pallet) and is also highly sensative to noise, thus it is a quiet House lacking the pomp and circumstance of wild dancing and music, which one normally expects to find in a Voodoo House. Also it is not a strictly Voodoo House, either as he also works with Chaos Magic, Enochain Angel Alchemy, Reki, and Ancient Egyptian Magic. The Houngan keeps to himself, lives a relativly solitary life and makes no move towards any type of expansion for his House. Few know it exists, few are able to find it, and few are admitted entrance into it. It is more in keeping with being one man's personal shrine to the Lwa than it is a temple for members to join. In any case, it is through the House of the Lansquin, that I came to learn about and practice Voodoo, which means that the path as I follow it, is quite a bit different from the more traditional Voodoo path and as I said is not strickly Voodoo but has a mix of several traditions. I follow the traditions of my House, and yes, to answer your question, in this House, Mariaj Lwa, is an accepted tradition.

Are you married to a lwa?

Currently, no, however, currently means now, implying that the future holds possabilities. Which leads to...

Would you marry the lwa if you was chosen to?

It is something I have been debating for a few years now. I put it off and I put it off and than I say, yeah and get all excited about planning, than get scared of I don't know what and put it off all over again. However in recent months events in my life do seem to be pushing me closer to accepting a marriage proposal from Damballa, which was presented to me, many years ago, but I just don't feel that I am ready to commite my life over to him, to the extent he requires, or at least I wasn't back than, and maybe still ain't right now, but am a lot closer to be ready for that today than I was back than. There is, one thing, actually standing between me and my calling to devote my life to Damballa and that is a human man, a Mormon High Priest who has made a lot of threats and ultimatuims about how if I follow this path he well leave and never have anything to do with me again. I love this man very much, I've been with him for 26 years, I was in this Voodoo House when I met him, and at the time he was very open and understanding to it and had no problems with my involvment with Voodoo, however 17 years in he suddenly changed his mind and basically said I had to choose between him or God. My life has been floating in a state of suspended animation ever since. To stay with my husband I have to abandon God. To stay with God I have to abandon my husband. I'm not ready to give up either my husband or God. God does not make such demands. If it was left up to God, I could be with my husband and serve God. But my husband no, it's him or God, I can't have both. These past 8 years I have been forced to hide my faith from the man I love, but he is at a point where nothing pleases him, nothing satifies him anymore, he is just progressivly growning ever more bitter and filled with jealously, he constant scripture lectures have become a nighmare to bear, and I now find myself releaved to be away from his ever domonering dogmatic religion crazed pressures. I am reaching the point where I can bear his threats of desertion and ultimatuims of him or God no more. His God is my God, but he can not see that for he has become burderned down and blinded by dogmas, dogmas that are pushed on him by the pressures of his Bishop and felloow priests, pressures that are there as a result of sharp tounged, hate mongering, bigoted men and women in his church who have nothing but bitterness and contempt for me, that evil woman whom they percieve to be a witch; the belittle me to him and he comes home to repeat their words, lashing them out as me as though they were his. He can not keep up his show of good apearance so long as I am thought of by his congregation as a witch. It all boils down to pride. He cares only what his church friends think of him, no more does he care how much his words hurt me, and every day his words do more to shatter my ability to trust him. A husband is there to love and protect, but it has been a long time since I felt either loved or protected by this bitter, pride filled man. The more he pushes me away with his religion crazed rants and lectures, the more I find myself growing closer to accepting Damballa's long ago offer.

It is a case of, if my husband was less bigoted and more respectful of my religious beliefs, granting me the same religious freedoms I grant him, I would have been married to a lwa some 13 or 15 years ago. Because he is a jealous and domineering man everything has to be his way or no way, and when it comes to religion it doesn't matter how many times he changes his mind about his beliefs, I am expected to believe EXACTLY as he does every second of the way, with no freedom to have a mind of my own and no freedom to choose to worship God without his permission, and only allowed to worship God in the manner which he decrees.

Outside of religion he is a kind, wonderful, gentle, loving man, who I love spending time with but set religion lose on him and he turns into a bigoted, condemning, judgmental, arrogant, self righteous, dogmatic scripture preaching monster who I can't get far enough away from. To punish me for what he calls my "sin of unrighteousness and unfaithfulness" he has not allowed me to attend church, any church not even his, in these past 8 years. He took away from me the one thing I loved as much as him, fellowship with God, and I hate him for it. The longer he stands between me and God, the more I hate him, the less I respect him, and the more I feel the need to be far away from him. He can not accept that I can love both him and God and by doing so, he is destroying my ability to love him.

Would you marry the lwa if you was chosen to?

Yes, that seems to be an inevitable path I am heading on. The question is not if, but when and at what cost? Nothing would make me happier than to serve my husband and God. To serve God should be a joyous thing to celebrate with family. But my husband, in his hatred for all religions he does not understand, especially Voodoo which he deems Satanic and evil, has decreed that if I choose to serve God I must do it alone, with no husband. To live a life in service to God I must sacrifice a life with the man I love. It is a difficult choice, but one that he makes easier with each new condemning lecture of hatred for all things non-Mormon.

Ever wonder what it was like to live with Autism?  
I have Autism. For more of my life I rarely spoke and was considered "too crazy" to ever live a normal life. I communicated via writing instead of vocally. I did not attend school. Psychologists said I would never drive a car, never get a job, never go to college, never function as a meaningful member of society, never be able to take care of myself or live on my own. They said there was no hope for me, I would need full-time care my whole life. 
My progression was long and slow and very hard. Things other people found easy to do (getting dressed, brushing teeth/hair, walking across the street, etc,) I found extremely confusing and hard to learn. I was prone to wandering off and getting lost (I still am). Driver's ed takes most people a few weeks to learn - it took me 5 years. 
I determined to prove the doctors wrong, but it was far harder to do, than most people would imagine. I got my first job working at Macy's at age 30 (a very difficult job as I had to deal one on one with customers and I still at that point was not talking in a manner that could be understood by others). I got my GED at age 34. I got my driver's license at age 35. I started college at age 36. By age 37 I had become a Phi Theta Kappa Honor Student and I was finally able to speak to others in full spoken verbal conversation for the first time in my life. 
Now you can find out what it's like Being an Adult with Autism
Good morning Starshine! Liked this post? Looking to connect with me online? I love social networks and am on most of them. You can find me on: BloggerEtsyFaceBookGoogle+KeenMySpaceNaNoWriMoProBoardsScript FrenzySpoonflowerSquidooTwitterULC Ministers NetworkWordpress, and Zazzle Feel free to give me a shout any  time. Many blessings to you, may all your silver clouds be lined with rhinestones and sparkle of golden sunshine. Have yourself a great and wonderful glorious day!
~Rev. Wendy C. Allen aka EelKat of Laughing Gnome Hollow

FYI: I welcome all email! That includes arrogant, bigoted, rude, ignorant, snide hate mail many uber religious folks enjoy sending my way.  However, be forewarned that by choosing to send me a letter, email, blog comment, FaceBook comments, or any other message from any other means, which falls into any category, you thereby relenquish all ownership rights and responsibilities concerning your letter(s) and comments(s). I will post any and all letters, both positive and negative, that I feel require or deserve a response. If you don't want the world knowing your troubles, knowing you are a hater, or knowing you are a bigoted jackass, please refrain from sending me mail, because if you get really bitchy, I'll go right ahead and use your real name too. Thank you and have a nice day.
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This post was written by Wendy C Allen aka EelKat, is copyrighted by The Twighlight Manor Press and was posted on Houseless Living @ and reposted at EK's Star Log and parts of it may also be seen on and  If you are reading this from a different location than those listed above, please contact me Wendy C. Allen aka EelKat and let me know where it is you found this post. Plagiarism is illegal and I DO actively pursue offenders. Unless copying a Blog Meme, you do not have permission to copy anything appearing on this blog, including words, art, or photos. This will be your only warning. Thank you and have a glorious day!                             
                                                                   ~ EelKat

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